Reflections!

Went out to buy gift+cake for one of my dear friends at TIFR. There are certain people on the earth who are loved by all. He is one such. Returning home in the evening .. I could not help recalling the days of birthday celebrations in Cambridge .. specially one of Promod's, or Moni's .. the amount of fun that used to be there in those b'days .. unforgettable .. people say after school one does not get genuine pleasure .. but I claim to have got more pleasure on those a few days of my stay in Cambridge that I shall treasure in my heart for years together.

Perhaps it was one of my Cam friend's sudden visit in the afternoon that helped me walk down memory lane even more. That friend has got engaged to the one he was going around with for the last two years. Now he has started planning for the future already .. it is really interesting to know of some friendship turning into a proper engagement!! :-)

Long live the bond! Long live love!

Remembering one of the most beautiful creations on earth .. a poetry written on stone .. on her 350th birthday! 

Remembering a day of the past .. (Andreas's mom, Daniel, Jeremy, Malavika, Beverely, me, Andreas, Richard, Ananth - at Richard's place .. in a get together after the final exam.. on a Sunday, summer 2003, Cambridge. 

"kromosho ekla hole .."

Today I went to VT to see my office-mate off. Perhaps after a long time I was seeing someone off. It used to be the other way round for the past 2/3 years. It is a peculiar feeling for me .. it's been just three weeks that I have been sharing the office with my friend. But now, coming back to the office I am feeling very lonely. The empty table on my right hand side is giving me a bare look. Even the known office room is seeming to be unknown to me.

Well, everything has positive side .. the good part about having the office at your own disposal is that you can listen to any music you want with the speakers on .. right now I am listening to Suman .. and the particular song that I mentioned in the title. I can not help associating to this song the memories I had with Subhasish da .. a very close friend-cum-dada in Cam. I used to consider him as the only breathing space for cultural discussion while being there. And now this song is appearing to me with a different meaning altogether.

I know this feeling is temopary .. but I confess that it is distubing .. does not allow one to concentrate for a while..

Today I bought the Sarodiya Anandabazar Patrika and the small Patrika-1411 from the Wheelers stall at VT. The smell of the pages suddenly brought in many memories to me.. felt at home at once.

Post of Autumn!

Just seen the prolonged "debate" of two of my friends on the blog .. starting from a seemingly trivial issue .. and adding more colour to the blogger's life!

Have been trying to get accustomed to the new world I have been into, recently .. now seems that I have a grip on it.

Mumbai is talking about its Ganapati Utsav these days .. in the crowded trains, busy roads .. people have something in common .. a festive feeling .. that certainely I am going to miss in the very near future! I have been getting news of rain spoiling Bengalees' festive "mood"s.. at least shopping to start with .. can't believe that the Bengalees festive mood can be so easily dampened!

Anandabazar Patrika is doing its best to portray this mood by putting up the glimpses from Kumartuli and the 'city life'. And the emails from that part of the world is also carrying the 'smell' of the puja. The Bengali associations out of Bengal have become very active to show their organisational capabilites. In the middle of these, the white 'cyrrus' clouds coming from the east do make us nostalgic .. and a bit homesick, perhaps.

Me, in a "Dil Chahta Hai" mood .. one of the 'rare' pictures of myself that you will ever find!  

Experience !

Sometimes it takes a while to know people .. you need to spend time with them .. it is another research work that I have been doing parallely for quite a few years .. I have been learning new lessons in this process. It's curious when I look back to my diary and find my old reflections about lots of people who I have come across till date. Most of the times I have seen that the first impression that I have about a person turns out to be the correct one. But the real interesting cases are those when I find someone having totally different characteristics that I presumed about him/her. I like to write down those experiences in the diary. Sometimes when I look back those memories teach me the best as to how to start mixing with people. Of late, I had one such interesting case where the object turned out to be very interesting to cultivate, but dangerous to handel. Good lesson .. learnt!

Busy days..

Sometimes learning new things gives you a lot of pleasure .. so am I really in a mood to cultivate things that are "real stuff" .. and I am enjoying my job .. no doubt. It's been long that I worked with this kind of sincerity in the recent past. I am grateful to some people who are helping me extremely well .. and making sure that I can get into work as quickly as possible. For that I have to give much time for it .. and I am doing it without grief.

Today I got my third rakhi of this year in the third consecutive Monday .. and this time it was Bhooto. It is quite interesting .. that I am receiving each on every first day of the week from different sources.Needlees to say I am very happy about that. :-)

Otherwise life is very hectic .. but the best part is .. it is pleasant nonetheless.

Crossing the bar!

Yesterday I have been roaming around at the sea shore .. alone .. suddenly I felt lonesome yesterday in the evening .. no particular reasons though .. just somewhat puzzled at the recent course of actions of my life, of late .. I was feeling tired of the questions unanswered .. confused about life in general .. I was yearning for sharing my views/ feelings with some friend(s) that certainely are lacking here .. perplexed to the extreme, I went to my office at night .. watched one light comedy movie "Mahapurush" by Satyajit Ray .. felt a bit relaxed .. and then concentrated on study.

They were celebrating Hindi Divas at the hostel .. cracking poor jokes (pj's as they are mostly known); pooling others' legs .. and laughing at nonsense .. I went to be a part of it .. but found that to be most boring thing on earth .. and then came back to institute .. alone .. again .. till late night .. a call from my friend gave me a bit of relief... nonetheless these days getting in touch with people, and showing that you care, have also become so stereotype and professional that both the persons concerned know it very well .. "asole kono interest e nei , oi bhodrotar khatire jiggesh kora ar ki!" (Kanchanjangha, S. Ray) .. [actually you have no ineterest, it is just a sort of courtesy].

Hence comes the question .. how will human race survive ? If there is no belief, no faith, no sincerity! .. If no honesty exists amongst us. Should we have to wait for an answer till we cross the bar ?

Just found it in my old photo album .. thought of posting it .. does it ring any bell to any one? 

Light and shadow! 

Discovery!

Have been discovering a lot of things these days .. needless to say most of the things are pleasant news for me. Well I am not going to talk about these things here .. they better be stored in a "diary". (know, it will hurt you .. sorry!)

Let's change the topic ..

Just saw a picture in one of my friend's blog .. painfull enough .. but frankly speaking these things / sights do not perturb me much .. of late. I am getting involved in the 'real' business .. that my boss works on .. and I am getting quite excited at that .. strangely enough I have been working more, and feeling less tired .. may be this wont last long .. but for the time being I am least bothered about the other 'things' in the world. I may sound selfish .. but I am honest.

My perception towards life has not changed anyway .. I can still fathom the soft and the subtle emotions .. but I am more driven by the facts of life that I should focus on. I have plenty of goals to reach .. and I have the feeling that I am running out of time .. I am happy about that, for I never felt so for the last couple of years .. I thank you all those of my well wishers who cheered me up in the rather tougher span of my life that I have gone through recetly.

It is always nice to have new friends .. and specially you feel good when you discover something interesting about them!

:-0

:-)

Janmastami - 2004

Once again .. the "Dahi-Handi" day came .. and pople did celebrate it in the hostel campus .. one of the few occassions in our hostel life when people can get together .. I was not a part of it the last year .. and I kept myself aloof this year as well.. the 'brouhaha' seems not suitable for me ..

Today the weather here was just too good to chat and chat and chat .. but I had lot of things piled up in my schedule .. so could not really utilise the day ... after lunch thre was a nice breeze .. coming straight from the west .. bringing to my mind .. memories of the past .. I was remembering my old friends who were so nice people to chat with .. here sometimes I suffer from this "friendlessness" syndrom. In bengali what you would call jonaranye eka - alone in the crowd .. here I do have this feeling quite often .. whenever I have a nice mood and want to share it with someone .. I look around .. in vain .. finding no 'true' friend!

Thus went my this year's Janmastami .. it is always nice to get a holiday in the week .. but it brings along with it .. a feeling of pathos .. may be that's why poet once said:
Our sweetest songs are those that tell of saddest thought.

Memory .. !

Today I met one of my long lost friend .. who happens to be more than a friend actually .. it is someone without whom I would not have been at TIFR now. The person who conducted a written test for me on 24th of June in the year 2003 at a small room at DAMTP, Cambridge .. that led me to TIFR.

The person has not changed even a little. With the same smile, same look, and friendliness he shaked my hands .. "Oh you are here now, what a nice surpise to see you here!", he said as he greeted me... Then we talked about some common friends of us, the othet Indian String theorist in Cambridge and his wife!

So nice to find someone, as a surprise who happens to be one from Cambridge .. as my friend pointed out in her last blog .. it is hard to forget some places .. but sometimes we associate it so much with the people around that we forgot that it is the place that we love the most. Memories .. again I am warning myself .. not to walk down memory lane once gain ..oh .. not again .. but can't help remembering DAMTP, the library.. so many afternoons I spent there before submitting my project .. the automatic photosensitive lights and temparature-sensitive curtains .. the big , huge reference section in the basement .. full with computer with no one to use it .. and 24-hours access card with the "green spot" .. my only thing to boast of in Cambridge .. by being one of those lucky few to have one in my TP III ..

And what else .. life goes by .. as usual .. leaving behind these little memories awaiting some incidents to kindle them up.

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The "Real" LIfe !

I should admit the for the past two days my way of looking at life has
significantly changed. Sometimes I wonder whether I am taking it too
casually these days .. as if I have achieved what I was hoping to .. and
now "relax" .. I know if this mood sustains for a some more weeks then I
shall soon be in deep water! But sometimes though you know you are not
doing things like the way you are supposed to .. you tend to continue
doing it in that fashion .. you can not help it!

For example for the last two days, since I met my guide for the first time
.. my only academic works had been: taking print outs of papers and
photocopying books and pages! .. and piling it up in the file .. with a
hope to sit with them soon .. but that " soon" never came in the last
fourty eight hours. I have been taking advice from my senior(s) in order
to get started with the project .. advices, suggestions and information
are coming in bits and pieces .. I am gearing up, up and up .. but yet to
start with it ..

One should not think that I am very studious otherwise that I am repenting
for not reading a single line for a couple of days .. what is making me
sad at this hour is .. I have just opened my old blog and saw what
impressive lines I wrote there .. and how far I stand now from what I
proposed to do ..

I must mention one other thing that happened yesterday .. we went to watch
a movie and ended up watching another one having seen the one we went for
was running house full.. It was a mental torture to see that movie .. the
most frustrating part was one can not leave the hall till the movie
finishes.. so in the interval, all of us, in a mind to get out, found the
security guards of the movie theatre standing guard at the gate that was
locked!! It was to our surprise .. When the movie ended finally we were
wondering how we actually could manage to sit through such an awfully
boring movie .. The name of the movie was "Kiun Ho Gaya Na!" .. and even
Ash with her glamourous presence could do little to entertain the
spectators .. we came back home at night .. dejected .. promosing
ourselves that we would not go for a Hindi movie in future without getting
a good review of that! .. Well .. a lesson learnt .. "jotodin banchi
totodin sikhi .."

D Day!

Today I met my guide formally, as in after getting officially assigned to him. It's so nice to just talk to him. I was given some assignments right away .. but leave that aside for a moment. I relished the memory of the meeting even afterwards.

There are certain days in your life that you remember forever. The day I got my secondary results. The day I got to know abt the Chevening scholarship. The day I landed on Heathrow airport. I can place today on the same footing.

According to one of my old geography teahcer today was the day of my "dikhshagrahan". Yes, indeed, but this time it has be in Karmayoga. I felt like working .. I do try to believe that this wont dissipate quickly. :-)

The top stories of this hour :-)

These days we are having "marathon lectures" given by Shiraz Minwalla(someone who came from Harvard to join TIFR as a permanent faculty!) on Quantum Field Theory. The day before, i.e. on Monday, we had a rigorous session of three hours and fifteen minutes of lectures in the morning with a five minutes break. And today we had one two hours and a half at a stretch. But the interesting thing is we are not feeling exhausted .. Hats off to the man who can do without any 'notes' in a graduate class but still can manage to produce an extensive board-worked lecture. He is a very talked-about guy in the institute of late and he deserves to be.

Today's been quite hectic for me .. having two lectures in the morn and a colloqium in the evening .. then had a TT session after a long time .. enjoying my life .. oh yes! Rather living it in my own way .. guide is supposed to come soon .. and was expecting to see him today but could not. Probably these good days will be over soon having the project work started once the guide comes. :-(

These days burning CDs has become one of the favourite past times. I have been converting mp3's to audio format to listen to it in my room where I dd not have an MP3 player unfortunately. Thanks to Nero - the burning software.

Today my school friend came to see me before leaving Bombay for Kolkata where he finally found a job. So another place to go to in Bombay has gone. Feeling bad about that for a while .. I guess once I get into works then these things won't matter .. whether or not time will tell.

Right now I am listening to Jayjayanti - a melodious raga played by Bismillah Khan and V G Jog, a wonderful piece of duet by the maestros. There is no one else aroung in the room .. I, my computer and music .. what else can you want .. feeling very happy all on a sudden .. wanted to share it with you, "Going Miles"!

To Blog, before going to bed!

So, what will you do now..
To call it a day?
Perhaps a few lines of blog;
Will come in my way!